Fun Jokes
What runs around the field but never moves?
I don't know
A fence
Fun Jokes
How do players stay cool during games?
How?
They stand near the fans
Fun Jokes
Why did the ball quit the team?
Why?
It was tired of being kicked around
Fun Jokes
What is it called when a dinosaur gets a goal?
I don't know
A dino-score
Fun Jokes
Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Why?
Because she always runs away from the ball
Fun Jokes
What is a ghosts favorite soccer position?
What?
Ghoul keeper
Fun Facts
On average, soccer players run as far as 9.5 miles in a single match
Fun Facts
A 20-month-old baby became the youngest professional soccer player ever, after being signed up by a Belgian club
Fun Facts
More than 1 in 20 soccer injuries are caused by celebrating goals on the pitch
Fun Facts
All "football" sports are so called not because the players have to kick the ball, but because they were played on foot by the peasantry, rather than on horseback, like all "proper" aristocrat sports.
Fun Facts
Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho first gained media attention when he was just 13 after his team won a game 23-0. He scored every single goal in the game.
Fun Facts
Norway is the only national football team in the world that has never lost to Brazil. (2 wins and 2 draws).
Fun Facts
Greenland can't join FIFA because not enough grass grows there for a soccer field.
Fun Facts
The word "soccer" was first used in England before the USA adopted it.
Fun Jokes
Why do artists never when they play football?
Why?
They keep drawing!
Fun Jokes
What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
What?
Bring on their subs!
Fun Jokes
What part of a football ground is never the same?
What?
The changing rooms!
Fun Jokes
What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
I don't know
Fiver side!
Fun Facts
The 1863 football rules state that side must change ends after every goal scored. Apparently no kicking, hacking or holding was allowed either.
Fun Facts
The first FA cup final was in 1872. However referees did not use whistles until 1878. Imagine an FA cup final where the ref doesn’t have a whistle. Oi, stop the game!
Fun Facts
Brazils first ever competitive game was against Exeter City on the 27th July 1914 at the Laranjeiras Stadium, Rio de Janeiro, home of Fluminense FC
Fun Facts
Five a side football first participated in the Paralympics in 1986. Recently, Brazil won a gold metal in the 2012 Summer Paralympics.
Fun Facts
With the exception of 1896 and 1932, men's football has competed in every summer Olympics. Women's football was added in 1996.
Fun Facts
The first televised football match featured Arsenal vs. Arsenal Reserves.
Fun Facts
An English Manager has never won the Premier League.
Fun Jokes
Where do football directors go when they are fed up?
Where?
The bored room!
Fun Jokes
Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
Why?
So that they can pack the defence!
Fun Jokes
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
Why?
They might be cheetahs!
Fun Jokes
Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market?
Why?
The tend to go cheep
Fun Jokes
Which insect didn't play well in goal?
I don't know
The fumble bee
Fun Jokes
Which football team loves ice-cream?
I don't know
Aston Vanilla
Fun Jokes
Why are football players never asked for dinner?
Why?
Because they’re always dribbling!
Fun Jokes
What does a footballer and a magician have in common?
I don't know
Both do hat tricks!
Fun Jokes
Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?
Who?
Paul gas coin!
Fun Jokes
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
I don't know, how?
Somebody took a corner!
Fun Jokes
What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?
What?
Cold Trafford!
Fun Jokes
Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?
Why?
Because there is no atmosphere!
Fun Jokes
What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
I don't know
The scenter spot!
Fun Jokes
How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
How?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!
Fun Jokes
Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?
Why?
Because he liked sole music
Fun Jokes
Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
I don't know, why?
They prefer cricket matches!
Fun Jokes
How do hens encourage their football teams?
How?
They egg them on!
Fun Facts
In 2002, Germany's Oliver Kahn became the first goalkeeper to win the Most Valuable Player of the World Cup.
Fun Facts
Football was first played in London's Newgate Prison. Here the prisoners whose hands had been mercilessly chopped off, invented a game where the ball could only be kicked with their feet.
Fun Facts
Today most of the balls are made from layers of synthetic leather while the bladders inside the ball are made from latex or butyl.
Fun Facts
Women started playing soccer around the same time as men did in England. However, originally men were the main players in the game. Women's soccer began to become extremely popular in the 90s.
Fun Facts
Records show that Ancient Greeks and Romans played many ball games, some of which involved the use of the feet.
Fun Facts
Sports clubs dedicated to playing football began in the 18th century.
Fun Jokes
What did the bumble bee striker say?
I don't know
Hive scored!
Fun Jokes
What lights up a football stadium?
I don't know, what?
A football match!
Fun Jokes
Where do footballers dance?
Where?
At a football!
Fun Jokes
What's a footballers favourite drink?
What?
Penaltea!
Fun Jokes
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Why?
Because he liked sole music!
haha
Fun Facts
Did you know that footballers run an average of 6 miles during a match.
Fun Facts
Did you know the biggest ever football crowd was made up of 199,954 people at the 1950 World Cup final between Brazil and Uruguay
Fun Jokes
Why did the footballer become a magician?
Why?
Because he was always doing hat tricks!
Haha!
Fun Jokes
What do you get if you cross a magician with a snake?
What?
An abra-da-cobra
Haha!
Fun Facts
Did you know, there were so many vicious fouls and fights that broke out during the 1962 World Cup match between Chile and Italy that it became known as the "Battle of Santiago"
Fun Jokes
Where do spiders play football?
Where?
Webley!
haha!
Fun Jokes
Why did the footballer never get married?
Why?
Because his girlfriend was out of his league!
Haha!
Fun Jokes
What did the big telephone say to the little telephone?
What?
You're too young to be engaged!
Haha!
Fun Facts
The biggest football ever made from artificial leather was made in Mexico in 2006 and was 8 metres wide!
Fun Jokes
Why did the chicken get a red card?
For persistent fowl play!
Fun Jokes
What did the bumble bee say in the football match?
Hive scored!
Fun Facts
Did you know - Records show that the Ancient Greeks and Romans played early versions of football?
Fun Jokes
Why did the knight run about looking for a tin opener?
Why?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Fun Facts
Did you know that on 18th January 1961 the football's maximum wage (then £20) was abolished?
Fun Jokes
What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
What?
A mutt in a rut!
Fun Jokes
What happens to footballers when they get older?
What?
They go balled!
Fun Facts
Did you know - the World Cup was cancelled on two occasions. Once in 1942 and again in 1946 - both because of World War 2
Fun Jokes
What position does your brother play in the school football team?
I think he's one of the drawbacks!
Fun Facts
Did you know- the highest number of goals in a football game was 149-0! It was an act of protest and the players purposefully scored the goals into their own net!
Fun Jokes
What is a dog's favourite city?
What?
New Yorkie!
Fun Jokes
What does a football team do if their pitch is flooded?
What?
Bring on their subs
Haha
Fun Facts
Did you know- the Chile under-20 squad were fined in 2002... for laughing too much!
Fun Jokes
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
What?
"This one will sleigh you!"
Haha!
Fun Facts
Did you know- soccer was considered an illegal sport in Mississippi until 1991.
Fun Jokes
What song do monkeys sing at Christmas?
What?
Jungle bells jungle bells
Fun Jokes
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
I don't know, why?
Because Frost bites.
Fun Facts
Did you know- in Greenland, due to climate, they are unable to support any grass pitches, therefore all matches are played on artificial turf.
Fun Facts
Did you know- footballs may appear to be a sphere, but this is an illusion caused by the pattern- they are actually slightly oval in shape!
Fun Jokes
What boat can carry twenty football teams?
What?
The Premier-ship
Fun Jokes
What is a footballer's favourite drink?
I don't know
Penal-tea
Fun Facts
Did you know- football is only called 'soccer' in America and Canada.
Fun Jokes
Why was the footballer arrested?
Why?
Because he kept shooting at the goal!
Fun Facts
Did you know - the first ever women's World Cup was held in 1991 in China, and was won by the United States.
Fun Jokes
What lights up a football stadium?
What?
A football match!
Fun Facts
Did you know- footballers run an average of 6 miles during every game!
Fun Jokes
What is green and fluffy?
What?
A seasick poodle
Fun Jokes
What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller?
What?
Broom-sick
Fun Facts
Did you know- football goalies didn't have to wear different coloured shirts from their teammates until 1913.
Fun Jokes
What position does a ghost play on a football team?
What?
The ghoul keeper
Fun Jokes
What sort of music do mummies like to listen to?
What?
Wrap music!
Fun Facts
Did you know- football is the most played and most watched sport on earth!
Fun Jokes
What did the mummy always pack for lunch?
What?
A wrap!
Haha
Fun Facts
Did you know- at only 17, Brazilian football player Pele was the youngest player ever to score at the World Cup, in 1958 in Sweden.
Fun Jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ya
Ya who?
I didn't know your were a cowboy!
Fun Jokes
Why isn't Cinderella very good at football?
Why?
She keeps running away from the ball!
Fun Facts
Did you know- the fastest goal in a football match was scored by Marc Burrows in 2004 at 2.5 seconds into a match. He was playing for Cowes Sports reserves against Eastleigh reserves.
Fun Jokes
How do snakes sign their letters?
How?
With love and hisses
Fun Jokes
What goes 'moorb, moorb'?
I don't know. What?
A witch going backwards on a broomstick
Haha!
Fun Facts
Did you know- the most goals scored by one football player in an international football match is 13, scored by Australian Archie Thompson in a 2002 World Cup qualifier against American Samoa.
Fun Jokes
How did the polite dragon get his fingers burnt?
How?
He covered his mouth when he sneezed.
Haha!
Fun Jokes
Knock Knock
Who's There
Doctor
Doctor Who?
Fun Facts
Did you know- football is thought to have been invented in China. Originally called 'cuju', there are records of it being played as early as 476BC.
Fun Jokes
What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk?
I don't know. What?
A centipede with a wooden leg
Haha!
Fun Jokes
My computer's got a Bad-Goalie Virus... it won't save anything!
Haha!
Fun Facts
Did you know- in 1966 the original Jules Rimet World Cup trophy was stolen from an exhibition in London. It was found a week later by a small dog called Pickles, whilst being walked by his owner!
Fun Jokes
How many people can you get into an empty football stadium?
I don't know. How many?
One- it's no longer empty after that!
Fun Jokes
Why was the small ghost asked to join the football team?
Why?
They needed a little team spirit.
Haha!